The first thing I thought of when tasting Skrewball was that it tasted like one of those infamous peanut butter cups most people, except for those with a peanut allergy, grew up with. After a few more shots spanning several weeks, I was hit with inspiration. This was the first time, after about a year, that jumping into a culinary or mixological felt right. After a long time without exploring that type of creativity, my anxiety over creating in this medium faded.
I had an idea.
It felt so good to have an idea… something tangible in a medium I’d grown scared of — a medium that brought back bad memories — that the drink came together. A huge part of me believes it came together because I needed to prove to myself that I could still do it and that I could do it without being afraid to.
After three tries, the drink tasted better than I thought it could.
The first time, the type of ice used was not the right kind. The cocktail called for small or crushed ice — not one, large cube as was first used. The next two times, there was too much of the creamy liqueurs. Finally, the fourth time, using two ounces of whiskey, it came out balanced.
This cocktail helped pull me out of a slump: one I thought I’d never overcome; one which had caused me anxiety-ridden seizures merely by thinking about it; one which had stolen my love, almost completely, of a medium which had made me feel free. It’s not that my goal was to ever get drunk, or make others drunk — it’s that the craft itself, putting together flavors in such an alchemic way, is more exact and creative than many other endeavors.
So when the cocktail came out balanced, and better than I thought I could do after so long, I realized this is what was needed.
Now, I’ll be mixing much more often.
Now, creating a cocktail cookbook is more than a dream. It’s a possible reality.
And, publishing these drinks on Marmosetic Wolves, with sketches depicting them, feels like home.
2 oz Skrewball Peanut Butter Whiskey
1 oz Five Farms Irish Cream Liqueur
1 oz Melette Cioccolato chocolate liqueur
Crushed ice (or mini ice cubes)
Pour ingredients in a Boston shaker that’s filled halfway with ice. Shake until outside of shaker is ice cold and dripping condensation. Strain into round tumbler filled with ice and a metal straw.